It Hurts to Leave... – Rambler Made

It Hurts to Leave...

As I get older, this place gets harder and harder to leave as I realize how much influence it’s had on me. This past year has probably been the most I’ve practiced creativity in my entire life and walking into this 75 year old time capsule made me realize that it harbors a sea of inspiration that I have been absorbing since I was a kid. ⁣

That realization really hit me when I returned home. Two days ago, as I re-entered suburban living, I was greeted with a pretty bad depressive state. This isn’t uncommon for me but, after being in a spot that hits so many things that “make sense” to me, it feels different, feels worse. Being surrounded by nature spoiled me. ⁣

I woke up early every morning without anxiety (a rare occurrence) to natural light exposing the warmth of the spruce log interior of the cabin. Coffee on the porch only to listen to wind singing through the leaves carrying a scent of vanilla from the bark of the ponderosa pines that surround the property. Yes, the trees literally smell like vanilla... “This is how we’re supposed to live” was a recurring internal thought throughout my time there. ⁣

I know it’s normal to feel a bit sad coming back from a vacation but this time was different. For the first time, I saw just how much this place taps into my creativity and DNA. This time will require introspection into how I can feel more like I do in that cabin. How I can feel like life is supposed to feel.